I am so tired all the time. My patience for certain people is so low. But for others I am so gentle. I see me being more thoughtful and idk righteous? Im doing the right things and the Im doing good & nice things. Communicating more, being less anti everything.
Theres this one guy I work with who is so negative all the time he never has anything positive to say and it BLOWS me. There could be no one speaking to him and he will inject himself into a conversation that has nothing to do with him and say some bs. That energy irritates me and makes me think thats how I was before always saying what I dont like or putting something down. its annoying.
I also did something last week that when I was doing it I did debate with myself thinking id regret it for a second but I did it anyway and now … well since then but especially after last night I dont. even last night I was thinking about if this is something I really want and want to stick with because it would require me to let go of things ive become comfortable with. I think I like the not knowing. having no zone to think of.
this entry is all over the place… im on my way to job number 1, I should have way more to say In a way that makes sense after tomorrow.