saturn come home

something has truly come over me. I am in a completely different mindset and space than I’ve ever really been before. It’s hard to explain but this realization that I envision other things for myself that are not reflected in what I’m doing now. I never really saw that picture of me in my “picture perfect life” as a goal just as an idea, something to aspire to. But now I’m just like well why not? And I think I realized I have been preoccupied with so many things I really don’t care about, and I’ve spent so much time just trying to meet myself where I’m at that I just don’t understand what I’m still doing here. SO a lot of things have changed but not really much. I just feel like my days are so much more fulfilling when I do something other than go to work. (and I’m not counting the after work hangouts thats a different story about my new dislike of drinking) But doing something productive or fun or meaningful in some way, that will lead to a better life for me everyday has changed my perspective on so many things.
I could write all day in circles about this but I have things to do, and will probably have more clarity on these developments as time passes.
I feel optimistic, for the real first time in a long time.

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