hm dadada oochie walla yadda yadda la la

I haven’t written in so long! I’ve been meaning to also put pen to paper but this will do for now.
I legit just had something I wanted to note and hold myself accountable for… and I lost it.
It will come back to me. I have 3 projects I am forcing myself to finish TODAY. well before I sleep at least it may flow into tomorrow but its 2 pm and there were 4 projects on the list! I’m doing well.
I find its easier for me to keep focus if my conditions are not comfortable. soon not A/C.. a sweatshop. But it is working.

OH! what I wanted to note was that I have been living “pay check to pay check” but in a way that I won’t break my previous pay check until I get a new one. It kind of subconsciously started happening last year when the pandemic started I had a last paycheck before we shut down March (didn’t cash it until it nearly expired) but I also collected one not technically a severance but it was like a severance all my vacation/sick pay paid out July and I hadn’t cashed either of them until I went back to work in September. Then we shut down again in December, I had one paycheck from the previous pay period and one that remained at work until we reopened in March! it’s now April and I’ve deposited all the march checks but I am sitting on April’s checks and it gives me this kind of feeling of responsibility and discipline. I feel like once we are full time I want to not break the previous checks and instead just have them for savings.

I feel like my whole mentality has changed, I’ve accepted I don’t want the things everyone else wants and the things that I do want may be lackluster to others or may not be impressive to everyone but they make me happy. And I feel more at peace.

I have no Segway here but we had a CBD event at work and we were all given some CBD pre-rolls. I think I really like it. I honestly didn’t expect to notice any of the effects because.. weed, but there is definitely a difference sensation and I like it. I had tried an oil before but it really did not give the same sensation…

Another random thing. I hate how once you start exfoliating you have to do it EVERY SINGLE DAY OR ELSE. its funny because I really enjoy my shower time and have made it a point to never have to rush. (idk if that sounds weird but I use to push when I would wake up and shave time off of everything I had to do in my process and shower time is definitely my most indulgent time of the morning so it had more room available) but I really feel like I’m pampering myself. waking up earlier giving myself more me time, like when I know I’ve done everything, lather, repeat, exfoliate, lather, oil, shampoo, conditioner, (shave-not daily), polish like… when I know I’ve taken care of my body I just feel better starting the day. Also things I’m incorporating in my daily routine, coffee before I leave the house (tired of using togo cups), making sure everything I used to get ready is put away (this is really hard especially because I NEVER have company I just do not worry about what I leave behind for me to see.) In May im planning to add a work out, and walking Chanel again.

ANYWAY I used this as a distraction too long, back to work.

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