tightrope

are there rewards for being better?
does the universe challenge me and when I overcome the challenge am I then rewarded?
I struggled through the night, but forced myself to sleep and dream of other things.
Maybe this has become a dream blog? Maybe I just don’t want to talk about the other things on my mind.
One, I’d like to forget, and the other I don’t want to overthink.
But in my dream Rihanna was the bachelorette and also looking for lady love or a bff or idk but I was in the contest. barely. I was mostly chasing around the cameramen and partying in their hotel rooms. But when I had to go on the dates with Rihanna & the other contestants I attended and found ways/reasons to get out of them. This one date was on the balcony of another contestants home. We were all out on it and Rihanna was talking and someone asked her who was her crush and she named a couple celebrities and of course me, it was my dream. I was so flattered but also, embarrassed? what is the feeling you feel when youre put on the spot? anyway somehow I ended up on the other end of the balcony which I started realizing was slanted, very slanted. It was almost perpendicular to the ground. The railings were thin bars and If I didn’t hold on to it I could fall through it, I started panicking and I had to get off the entire balcony. But the panic part was very long. There were other girls there and I was asking them why they weren’t scared, they said they weren’t as skinny as me and were not at risk to fall through they were just sitting there.. I was stuck there slanted so slanted if I lost my balance I’d slide through the bars. Even getting back to the level side felt so hard. Precisely stepping on the rails one by one to inch across the balcony back past Rihanna and finally land back inside on level ground. I left the house teleported back to the hotel and brought some ice to the camera crew party, and woke up laughing that I dreamt Rihanna had a crush on me. But ya know I always try to take something from my dreams and I’m just gonna go with something cliche about dangerous paths, tough roads, blah blah. and I do feel that, but I also feel like the road back shouldn’t be that tough.. shouldn’t be that hard to get level. but then I think of balance and scales and well.. I’m inspired.
It probably is hard, and it’s probably going to be tough but the goal, the reward, the balance would be worth it.

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