last night the times I didn’t want to exist were heavy on my mind. I started to write about it at 4:30am and decided not to talk about it, not to dwell there. But I dreamt it. In a way. I lived on a different planet with others and it was almost the same I had a job and coworkers and friends and something happened. I don’t know if it was a friend leaving, my boss doing something or me discovering a different planet existed. I’m really not sure what it was because I’ve been up for a couple hours now and forget, but I was unhappy. I told my boss or the leader whoever it was supposed to be that I didn’t want to be here anymore and she basically said tough luck, you are and thats that. But, I was still unhappy.. I went and talked to some strangers, pretty sketchy people, about my unhappiness and they told me they could get me out of here and to another planet. They smuggled me off and as I was approaching what looked like earth I remembered how it was here and woke up. At first I thought it was maybe a sign to go see a therapist. talking to strangers that can actually help. But the last bit about just coming to this earth where I am also unhappy is sticking with me. That it is just a cycle I’ll never be completely happy, or there will always be something I don’t like. I’m just built that way. But I don’t want to be so pessimistic so I’ll say my mind wants me to talk more about my issues maybe even to strangers that can help.

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