raindrops that turned into lakes

it’s another first of the month and I haven’t moved. I’m so sad. I’m ready to start now.
But instead I will be deep diving reorganizing/prioritizing my room and things.. this will hopefully prepare me to move quicker. But also I feel like I’ve pushed myself into so many little things to get out of my funk that I’m even more all over the place. Today everything but the knitting will be away AWAY.
I felt super bad when I woke up late (maybe 3:30pm) and my grandfather was shoveling the sidewalk. I feel like I was supposed to be up early doing that but my sleep schedule is completely backwards if he just waited a few hours I would’ve done it or helped. He rises way too early.
I did wake up and dust though, and I’d been putting that off for a while.
Mondays are usually the big chores/house duty days because it’s trash night so when I move Monday will be a day I request not to work and come over to take care of whatever needs to be done.
I’m making it a point to try to do everything in the one day now before I move but I think my grandfather is taking it as me slacking or being lazy not wanting to help anymore because for days I’ll wait to do something. (also depression but I digress). So I’m communicating now, at least telling him that that is my agenda… I guess I didn’t want to set expectations of me but f it. EXPECT THEE MOST FROM ME. I need to be able to deliver and if I can’t we can talk about the reality of disappointment then.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s