dragging your arms

I’m trying to restrict myself from spending any money until I give Chanel a haircut. Motivation is really hard to find these days though. I wrote this in my physical journal, I built an amazon cart with things that I’d want for the new apartment, and decided I was going to save up that much and then really look around, but if I couldn’t find all the things I wanted for lower prices/better deals I would just buy everything because I saved enough. I’m actually doing really good.. I’m about 1/3rd of the way there without touching my savings or depositing my last two work checks. So in real life I could afford everything, I just want to do better about saving comfortably, and managing my money. My savings I act like it isn’t there at all. But for a while I was just buying things because I could.. why do I have a pair of tap dancing shoes and a pair of ballet shoes? I’m really bad with impulse buying.. But Chanel needs a haircut so until I do that I will not reward myself with anything. I’ve also had clean laundry in one of my hampers for a week.. the attire I’m wearing (now that I am unemployed again) it really isn’t necessary for me to be on top of my laundry. I’m also trying to prepare myself for not having laundry on-site .. ugh.

Work did send out an email with work opportunities supposedly the training would start today but we asked for details, management said they’d follow up and never did. So we never responded.

I will take this unemployment as long as I can. I definitely do not want to be downtown in this upcoming week anyway. I barely want to be on the outskirts. But I will bunker down in the house, cut the dogs hair, put away my laundry. I don’t know when the motivation will hit.. I hate being in this mood. I literally waste away my days.

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