O N I

I have had the worst hangover all day.

Yesterday before the drinking I made a daily routine I want to keep up with for the year. I was kind of doing this in the beginning of quarantine but.. I wasn’t holding myself accountable.

Last night & today (despite the hangover from hell) made me feel really good about the steps I want to take with O, our whatever you call it is in a really good place. The Bahamas trip has been postponed indefinitely and I’m not upset, because one, covid is scary. two, I was really nervous about the whole thing. But instead of going to the Bahamas he is having a boys trip to Vegas. It’s weird because if I would’ve heard that maybe from someone else, maybe in the past, maybe in a different mood, I would’ve reacted very negatively to that and been mad or upset or somehow made it about me and my feelings, but when he said it I was really excited for him and his friends (especially roy). They are going to have so much fun, and although the Bahamas trip did seem like a big deal for “us” it was never about us. O and I are friends first, and last. I want him to have a great time in Vegas (safely). I hope they bring back some crazy stories *crossing fingers* he deserves a good birthday trip. the Bahamas got derailed by everyone not having passports and the processes to get everyone one, now his boy is claiming financial struggles but hopefully they get it together.

any who. I’m excited for the new year. In 2021 I want: a cure to covid, more energy, and better memories. ~~ I have far too many negative memories.

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